I was relieved they showed me how to dressy up my cutoffs that are so short, the pockets are hanging down. 
I wasn't sure if I could go from painting my fence to night on the town. But now, with only a blazer, belt and heels, I'll be ready to sit down at that five star restaurant.Seriously, when did high end retailers decide to look to Britney Spears for inspiration? And, who, above the age of twelve, really believes they can get a way with this look?
But maybe, since these are high end cutoffs because they cost more than my winter heating bill, that makes a difference?
Perhaps they cost so much because they are sewn "in earnest"? I've decided to help out all those gals who seriously think they can pull this look off. I'll send you a pair of short cutoffs for only $72. That will save you $100. In an effort of full disclosure, they will not be sewn in earnest but I guarantee I will cut them in earnest.
*Term not originally my own and trying to avoid hearing from corporate lawyers.
P.S. Dear Old Navy,
Those mannequin commercials you have running right now are awful, like William Hung singing She Bangs, awful.
I'd love to know how much alcohol the marketing executives supplied you with before you gave this campaign a green light.
It is so bad that I would really consider firing the marketing team and then I would fire the people who gave the campaign two enthusiastic thumbs up.
Then I'd ask my three year-old for his ideas on an ad campaign because, honestly, anything he came up with would have to be better than the couple arriving at a bar-b-que and the man has the hostess's face tattooed on his calf.
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